I’m sick and tired of all the politician-bashing that bloggers seem addicted to these days. Why do we have to be so critical all the time? Why not see the glass half-full? Deciding to be an optimist, I present “Virtues of Politicians”:
Politicians have great oratory skills.
Enthralling thousands of people at rallies who stand listening in rain or scorching sunshine is not easy. Not even a fraction of that many people would be reading our blogs daily!
They are extremely responsive.
Within a few minutes of one political party releasing their election manifesto, the spokespersons of the other parties are available for their expert analysis and comments on all the TV news channels. Many bloggers, like me, take hours to respond to comments on their own blog!
Politicians take care to look good at all times.
Imagine attending conferences, debating, traveling, protesting, making speeches, distributing cash – all within one day – and making it all appear so effortless, and appearing presentable for all media appearances! A famous example is of the great minister who took care to change his clothes before visiting the site of a bomb blast.
They never forget and have a great memory.
Ask any politician about the mistakes committed by their opposition party politicians and events going back several decades are at the tip of their tongue.
They forgive and forget.
Come election time, and see this virtue in full bloom. They can quickly forgive and forget lapses in communication, behavior, promises, commitments, or whatever, on their own or others’ behalf.
Politicians handle insults with the utmost grace.
Whether it is TV reporters making snide remarks, journalists throwing shoes, or whatever, observe the graciousness with which they handle the situation.
Politicians insult with the utmost grace.
Even if they may be bitter foes in real life, they always refer to their enemies as ‘my good friend, ….’ on TV and elsewhere.
They are flexible.
Electoral alliances in coalition politics has made this a must-have virtue for politicians. No ideology, principle, value, or goal can be such that it cannot be compromised if doing so can gain voters, or better still, seats in Parliament.
Politicians are punctual.
“What!” you say? No kidding. One can frequently observe them just waiting in advance to speak in televised debates. The entire mass of politicians of one party from one state in India filed their nominations exactly at 12:39 pm, since that is the auspicious time when Ram killed Ravana. Doesn’t this prove punctuality beyond a doubt?
Politicians are culturally sensitive.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Depending on the religious, economic, educational, cultural, and caste background of their followers, they suitably adapt their costumes, gestures, greetings, salutations, etc.
They have an extremely good vocabulary.
Oratory skills on one side, it takes much more than that to succeed at debates or interviews. You must have observed the mastery with which they twist and tweak words and their meanings to convey exactly what they wish, irrespective of the question or argument.
Political leaders are loyal and stand by their team members at all times.
Observe their loyalty and steadfastness when they support the questionable and often disgraceful behavior of their colleagues.
So are you convinced? I’m sure I must have missed many other virtues, so do please add to the list in the comments!
Note: I have not provided links to actual events for each of the above, since different readers will find different events in their own country. I’m sure my intelligent readers will find suitable incidents that provide examples of each of the above. That’s another virtue – politicians have universal virtues! 
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I do wonder why people go into politics with all the hassles they face. It’s true, though, that someone has to do it.
Mahendra, you have opened my eyes.
All this while, i have been harping on how politics and politicians have sold our country to the dogs, while completely ignoring the numerous sacrifices they make towards fulfilling their responsibilities to the thankless populace.
Politicians know they are doing a dirty job but still do it.
Politicians always smile and listen to people eagerly (it stops there.)
All politicians of the world belong to a common cult.
etc.
Politicians have more sex (and better sex) than normal people. There is no way they can be beaten in this regard. Film stars don’t compare because they have to look good and be powerful to get that kinda sex. Politicians can get it even if a sack of potatoes has more sex appeal.
ROFL
Politicians are firm and efficient when it comes to economy. They know they must grease and oil to keep the economy going.
Sheesh..Our politicians are very virtuous. How did I miss that?
Priyank:
Rambodoc: Sometimes I wonder if your username should’ve been rambosex!
Poonam:
As the media becomes more and more instant and less and less contemplative, politicians are becoming increasingly ‘virtuous’, don’t you find?
Witness Obamarama, who has enthralled the world with his earnest virtuosity, and his unswerving determination to say absolutely nothing of any substance on any topic at all times.
http://tinyurl.com/IAMmeetsOBarmy
Mahendra, I guess this way of positively looking at people should apply to all people don’t you think? I mean people nowadays bash doctors, they bash lawyers, they bash bloggers!
Although I agree that politicians seem to have it the worst! I think it is because of the general attitude of complaining and whining that people have these days and that’s probably because of the high level of stress one is exposed to and one wants to blame it on somebody! The media too has become a victim of sorts.
Politicians also have great acting skills, they can give Aamir Khan a run for him money. They do a lot of cozy scenes with the actresses as well, just not on the movie sets
This is a different article and deserved that mention in Hindu. Well written!
Destination Infinity
[…] and Asuph, I am not a good writer of humor. I did take a stab with my own attempts at satire, with Virtues of Politicians, Rulebook for Indian TV News Producers, The Straight Dope FAQ on Indian Elections 2009, and How To […]
With all these hardships, one really wonders, isn’t it? Thanks for visiting and commenting, Davis!
Nita, yes, it should apply to all people…but a few observations lead one to the conclusion that politicians are the most virtuous!
Oh thanks! How did I forget this one?!
Thank you!