Virtues of Politicians

I’m sick and tired of all the politi­cian-bash­ing that blog­gers seem addict­ed to these days. Why do we have to be so crit­i­cal all the time? Why not see the glass half-full? Decid­ing to be an opti­mist, I present “Virtues of Politi­cians”:

Politicians have great oratory skills.

Enthralling thou­sands of peo­ple at ral­lies who stand lis­ten­ing in rain or scorch­ing sun­shine is not easy. Not even a frac­tion of that many peo­ple would be read­ing our blogs dai­ly!

They are extremely responsive.

With­in a few min­utes of one polit­i­cal par­ty releas­ing their elec­tion man­i­festo, the spokesper­sons of the oth­er par­ties are avail­able for their expert analy­sis and com­ments on all the TV news chan­nels. Many blog­gers, like me, take hours to respond to com­ments on their own blog!

Politicians take care to look good at all times.

Imag­ine attend­ing con­fer­ences, debat­ing, trav­el­ing, protest­ing, mak­ing speech­es, dis­trib­ut­ing cash – all with­in one day – and mak­ing it all appear so effort­less, and appear­ing pre­sentable for all media appear­ances! A famous exam­ple is of the great min­is­ter who took care to change his clothes before vis­it­ing the site of a bomb blast.

They never forget and have a great memory.

Ask any politi­cian about the mis­takes com­mit­ted by their oppo­si­tion par­ty politi­cians and events going back sev­er­al decades are at the tip of their tongue.

They forgive and forget.

Come elec­tion time, and see this virtue in full bloom. They can quick­ly for­give and for­get laps­es in com­mu­ni­ca­tion, behav­ior, promis­es, com­mit­ments, or what­ev­er, on their own or oth­ers’ behalf.

Politicians handle insults with the utmost grace.

Whether it is TV reporters mak­ing snide remarks, jour­nal­ists throw­ing shoes, or what­ev­er, observe the gra­cious­ness with which they han­dle the sit­u­a­tion.

Politicians insult with the utmost grace.

Even if they may be bit­ter foes in real life, they always refer to their ene­mies as ‘my good friend, ….’ on TV and else­where.

They are flexible.

Elec­toral alliances in coali­tion pol­i­tics has made this a must-have virtue for politi­cians. No ide­ol­o­gy, prin­ci­ple, val­ue, or goal can be such that it can­not be com­pro­mised if doing so can gain vot­ers, or bet­ter still, seats in Par­lia­ment.

Politicians are punctual.

What!” you say? No kid­ding. One can fre­quent­ly observe them just wait­ing in advance to speak in tele­vised debates. The entire mass of politi­cians of one par­ty from one state in India filed their nom­i­na­tions exact­ly at 12:39 pm, since that is the aus­pi­cious time when Ram killed Ravana. Doesn’t this prove punc­tu­al­i­ty beyond a doubt?

Politicians are culturally sensitive.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Depend­ing on the reli­gious, eco­nom­ic, edu­ca­tion­al, cul­tur­al, and caste back­ground of their fol­low­ers, they suit­ably adapt their cos­tumes, ges­tures, greet­ings, salu­ta­tions, etc.

They have an extremely good vocabulary.

Ora­to­ry skills on one side, it takes much more than that to suc­ceed at debates or inter­views. You must have observed the mas­tery with which they twist and tweak words and their mean­ings to con­vey exact­ly what they wish, irre­spec­tive of the ques­tion or argu­ment.

Political leaders are loyal and stand by their team members at all times.

Observe their loy­al­ty and stead­fast­ness when they sup­port the ques­tion­able and often dis­grace­ful behav­ior of their col­leagues.

So are you con­vinced? I’m sure I must have missed many oth­er virtues, so do please add to the list in the com­ments!

Note: I have not pro­vid­ed links to actu­al events for each of the above, since dif­fer­ent read­ers will find dif­fer­ent events in their own coun­try. I’m sure my intel­li­gent read­ers will find suit­able inci­dents that pro­vide exam­ples of each of the above. That’s anoth­er virtue – politi­cians have uni­ver­sal virtues! 😉

This entry was posted in Humor, India, politics and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
  • I do won­der why peo­ple go into pol­i­tics with all the has­sles they face. It’s true, though, that some­one has to do it.

  • Mahen­dra, you have opened my eyes.

    All this while, i have been harp­ing on how pol­i­tics and politi­cians have sold our coun­try to the dogs, while com­plete­ly ignor­ing the numer­ous sac­ri­fices they make towards ful­fill­ing their respon­si­bil­i­ties to the thank­less pop­u­lace.

  • Politi­cians know they are doing a dirty job but still do it.

    Politi­cians always smile and lis­ten to peo­ple eager­ly (it stops there.)

    All politi­cians of the world belong to a com­mon cult.

    etc.

  • Politi­cians have more sex (and bet­ter sex) than nor­mal peo­ple. There is no way they can be beat­en in this regard. Film stars don’t com­pare because they have to look good and be pow­er­ful to get that kin­da sex. Politi­cians can get it even if a sack of pota­toes has more sex appeal.

  • ROFL

    Politi­cians are firm and effi­cient when it comes to econ­o­my. They know they must grease and oil to keep the econ­o­my going. 🙂

    Sheesh..Our politi­cians are very vir­tu­ous. How did I miss that?

  • Priyank: 😀

    Ram­bodoc: Some­times I won­der if your user­name should’ve been ram­bo­sex! 🙂

    Poon­am: 😀

  • As the media becomes more and more instant and less and less con­tem­pla­tive, politi­cians are becom­ing increas­ing­ly ‘vir­tu­ous’, don’t you find?
    Wit­ness Oba­ma­ra­ma, who has enthralled the world with his earnest vir­tu­os­i­ty, and his unswerv­ing deter­mi­na­tion to say absolute­ly noth­ing of any sub­stance on any top­ic at all times.
    http://tinyurl.com/IAMmeetsOBarmy

  • Mahen­dra, I guess this way of pos­i­tive­ly look­ing at peo­ple should apply to all peo­ple don’t you think? I mean peo­ple nowa­days bash doc­tors, they bash lawyers, they bash blog­gers! 🙂 Although I agree that politi­cians seem to have it the worst! I think it is because of the gen­er­al atti­tude of com­plain­ing and whin­ing that peo­ple have these days and that’s prob­a­bly because of the high lev­el of stress one is exposed to and one wants to blame it on some­body! The media too has become a vic­tim of sorts.

  • Politi­cians also have great act­ing skills, they can give Aamir Khan a run for him mon­ey. They do a lot of cozy scenes with the actress­es as well, just not on the movie sets 😉

  • This is a dif­fer­ent arti­cle and deserved that men­tion in Hin­du. Well writ­ten!

    Des­ti­na­tion Infin­i­ty

  • Pingback: Blogging Highlights of 2009, Challenges & Thoughts for 2010 | An Unquiet Mind()